The present day Nyonya Wedding, can be described as "trying our best" to relived some gaiety and splendor of the good old days. When my daughter Uvaraani (of mixed parentage) was preparing for her wedding, we had to consider many factors. Reason being she has the opportunity to unite many Indian and Chinese cultures and traditions for her big day. We went through the Indian and Nyonya Chinese ceremonial rites with our elders, and boy were we in for some surprises.
Consulting the Elders
It was a great experience talking to some older Nyonya aunts who still remembers the good old days. The smells that triggers the memory leads us to consider reviving this hundred year old Nyonya or Peranakan heritage. Mostly the discussion was aimed at what can and can't be done in this present age as Nyonya on the whole, the culture and people are a dying breed. Ceremonials rites for the bride is endless.
Words like Kor Char Ay Lang (olden days people) and Tong Kim Ay Gee Nia (kids nowadays) seems like we are moving from "one extreme to another".
Olden Days Brides
In the days of our grandparents, the young girls were protected and hardly knows the outside world. The only times they were allowed to go outside is on "Chap Goh Mei". (15th day and last of Chinese New Year is to throw oranges into the sea, in the hope to get good husband).
They are dressed in the prettiest and with an entourage of older brothers and chaperon of protective hawks of old aunts. You can imagine how excited they will be when there is a marriage proposal, young and excited and obedient to their parents instruction. There is no falling in love for fear of marrying into the wrong class or society. Nyonya families even imported brides from China or sent their daughters to China to find husbands.
Those days the Straits Settlement Nyonya girls of marriageable age were taught to sew and cook. Sewing and embroidering items for personal use. She has to practice till she gets it right to prepare for her wedding ceremonies. And believe you me, it is a long list. For her wedding, personal items like lacy handkerchiefs, wardrobe that include her wedding gown. Items for wedding bedroom sets like pillow cases, bed hangings and decorative panels used in the bridal chamber.
Skills to Acquire
The most important item she has to learn is beadwork, using "manek" (beads) and sequins, making shoes, sandals and slippers. All this is part of showcasing that the bride is well taught and well bred. The prospective bride prepared a range of slippers to be presented as part of her wedding dowry, to the groom and his family. Even Emelda Marcos would have lost out in her showing off her collection of beaded shoes. Then a special pair must be made to be worn on the third day of the wedding, that is the day she comes to her father house for the banquet prepared for the groom and his entourage.
Present Thoughts and possibilities
How would we ever get an opportunity to have a Nyonya wedding ceremony as the girls are now working girls. They hardly had time to sew their beaded shoes, embroidered bedcovers and pillow cases, let alone her own wedding costume. A young Nyonya's worth as a bride is judged by her skills in beading, embroidery and proper upbringing as a classy Nyonya lady.
How do I ask my daughter whether she is a virgin to do the "Chiau Tau" (wearing a traditional gown to pay homage to ancestors announcing the wedding). She would have thrown a fit if I asked her that. Such remark would be considered abusing her right while in the old days, the parents has every right to dominate their children.
Some rites and rituals of the Nyonya Wedding
It would take twelve days to get married with all the customs and traditions to follow. Grooming the bride for the wedding takes a few days. Nearing wedding days, all needlework, sewing and embroidery of personal items and whatever you need for the bridal chambers must be completed.
The challenge to grooming the bride coupled with wedding blues are at its peak. If you happened to get a bride who is excited about the whole wedding proposal, it seems a happy occasion. There are times you get an unwilling bride as she is forced to marry for the sake of broadening her family heirloom or kongsi (clans) business.
"Quotes from Queeny Chang - Memories of a Nonya, pg 69:
She took me to our father's room and from the closet, drew out a photograph of a young man in traditional Chinese clothes wearing a close fitting black hat. He had good features but his strange clothes did not appeal to me. Sister Song Jin unwrapped a red silk handkerchief containing a pair of gold bangles engraved with Chinese characters. Pointing to the photograph, she said:
Song Jin: This is the man you are going to marry and these bangles are the tokens of your betrothal. Our uncle arranged this marriage three years ago when you were only thirteen.
Queeny: Is it our father's wish that I marry this man?
Song Jin: Little sister, you know that once one's word is given, one can't take it back.
Queeny: But it isn't our father word.
Song Jin: Our father had to listen to his elder brother and beside, the family Lim had done a big favor for our uncle. We must therefore show gratitude."
The Match MakerConsulting the Elders
It was a great experience talking to some older Nyonya aunts who still remembers the good old days. The smells that triggers the memory leads us to consider reviving this hundred year old Nyonya or Peranakan heritage. Mostly the discussion was aimed at what can and can't be done in this present age as Nyonya on the whole, the culture and people are a dying breed. Ceremonials rites for the bride is endless.
Words like Kor Char Ay Lang (olden days people) and Tong Kim Ay Gee Nia (kids nowadays) seems like we are moving from "one extreme to another".
Olden Days Brides
In the days of our grandparents, the young girls were protected and hardly knows the outside world. The only times they were allowed to go outside is on "Chap Goh Mei". (15th day and last of Chinese New Year is to throw oranges into the sea, in the hope to get good husband).
They are dressed in the prettiest and with an entourage of older brothers and chaperon of protective hawks of old aunts. You can imagine how excited they will be when there is a marriage proposal, young and excited and obedient to their parents instruction. There is no falling in love for fear of marrying into the wrong class or society. Nyonya families even imported brides from China or sent their daughters to China to find husbands.
Those days the Straits Settlement Nyonya girls of marriageable age were taught to sew and cook. Sewing and embroidering items for personal use. She has to practice till she gets it right to prepare for her wedding ceremonies. And believe you me, it is a long list. For her wedding, personal items like lacy handkerchiefs, wardrobe that include her wedding gown. Items for wedding bedroom sets like pillow cases, bed hangings and decorative panels used in the bridal chamber.
Skills to Acquire
The most important item she has to learn is beadwork, using "manek" (beads) and sequins, making shoes, sandals and slippers. All this is part of showcasing that the bride is well taught and well bred. The prospective bride prepared a range of slippers to be presented as part of her wedding dowry, to the groom and his family. Even Emelda Marcos would have lost out in her showing off her collection of beaded shoes. Then a special pair must be made to be worn on the third day of the wedding, that is the day she comes to her father house for the banquet prepared for the groom and his entourage.
Present Thoughts and possibilities
How would we ever get an opportunity to have a Nyonya wedding ceremony as the girls are now working girls. They hardly had time to sew their beaded shoes, embroidered bedcovers and pillow cases, let alone her own wedding costume. A young Nyonya's worth as a bride is judged by her skills in beading, embroidery and proper upbringing as a classy Nyonya lady.
How do I ask my daughter whether she is a virgin to do the "Chiau Tau" (wearing a traditional gown to pay homage to ancestors announcing the wedding). She would have thrown a fit if I asked her that. Such remark would be considered abusing her right while in the old days, the parents has every right to dominate their children.
Some rites and rituals of the Nyonya Wedding
It would take twelve days to get married with all the customs and traditions to follow. Grooming the bride for the wedding takes a few days. Nearing wedding days, all needlework, sewing and embroidery of personal items and whatever you need for the bridal chambers must be completed.
The challenge to grooming the bride coupled with wedding blues are at its peak. If you happened to get a bride who is excited about the whole wedding proposal, it seems a happy occasion. There are times you get an unwilling bride as she is forced to marry for the sake of broadening her family heirloom or kongsi (clans) business.
"Quotes from Queeny Chang - Memories of a Nonya, pg 69:
She took me to our father's room and from the closet, drew out a photograph of a young man in traditional Chinese clothes wearing a close fitting black hat. He had good features but his strange clothes did not appeal to me. Sister Song Jin unwrapped a red silk handkerchief containing a pair of gold bangles engraved with Chinese characters. Pointing to the photograph, she said:
Song Jin: This is the man you are going to marry and these bangles are the tokens of your betrothal. Our uncle arranged this marriage three years ago when you were only thirteen.
Queeny: Is it our father's wish that I marry this man?
Song Jin: Little sister, you know that once one's word is given, one can't take it back.
Queeny: But it isn't our father word.
Song Jin: Our father had to listen to his elder brother and beside, the family Lim had done a big favor for our uncle. We must therefore show gratitude."
Before any rites or rituals can be followed, a Seng Keh Mg (Match maker, one with a gift of the gab) must be hired. She bosses all around to ensure all rites and rituals are followed, if not she will be able to tell you the consequences of not listening to her. With that, she advised what is to be done and you jolly well follow.
Things she would advised include fixing the dates for all ceremonies like Sang Jeek Sang Jeek is gifts presentation day or dowry to the bride. The Bridal Bed arrangement include chamber pot placement, ornaments and silk curtains, oil lamps or candles to keep lighted before the wedding night is over.
A tray of sweet goodies for the newly weds to eat and to get to know each other. Hair combing Ceremony, prayers to Jade Emperor, Chneoh Tau, (purification ritual for virgin), ancestors worship and eating Glutinous rice balls without chewing and Kooi Bin (Face Threading).
She is the master of ceremonies and her main role in Tea Ceremony is calling relatives from the older generation till the youngest. She is even there as the bride wakes up in the morning to carefully fold the pajamas.
Having listen to all the good advises from my Nyonya elders, we decided to pick what is necessary term as important and doable for present day working Nyonya wedding.
Present Day Wedding Plans and Realities
For the parents and relatives, my daughter chooses to have the tea ceremony conducted by Penang Nyonya Heritage Wedding Planner Micheal Cheah. Same time we choose a traditional hundred over years old heavy embroidered wedding gown for performing the tea ceremony.
Same time, not to disappoint the Indian relatives, we combined both Indian and Chinese Nyonya tradition into her wedding. The day ended as a lifetime experience for the newly weds, parents and relatives.
We were glad we could combined an age old heritage Nyonya wedding into unique modern day affair.
Love to eat Peranakan dishes? Check out http://cirrusculinnaire.com today!
A branding strategy article by Scotts DIGITAL - Top digital marketing company in Singapore and globally. Contact Scotts DIGITAL @ +(65) 9388 0851 or email to admin@scottsdigital.com for more information on how to brand your website in Google and generate more clients for your business.
No comments:
Post a Comment